Every time there is a post on special needs children, everybody “likes” it and “shares” it and I am sure that makes them feel very satisfied with themselves……a feeling that they have done a noble deed. How easy that is and how easy it is to observe from a distance and say “well done” to a mum, dad or sibling….or give advice…or even criticise…….
Does anybody even realise what a harsh reality it is for the ones who are living it. Mostly for the child himself / herself and to a certain extent, for people living with them. Not a day goes when I do not wish that my child had been normal….and…..wish….and hope that life was different. I have raised both a normal and a disabled child. So, I have seen both sides both sides of the coin.
Yes, people may say how blessed they are to have a special child…..but have you ever tried looking into that mother’s / father’s eyes when they are saying it? It is a mask that they wear for the sake of the world. I have met loads of mothers who are able to cope and get on with life but I have also looked into their eyes and I have seen the pain…..
It is a combination of psychological and physical issues, which drives you insane at times and you want to run away from it……then the parent in you comes to life…and you want the best for your child. Which parent doesn’t? It is absolutely impossible to describe the sense of helplessness….the feeling that you have failed your child……after all, you are responsible for bringing them in to this world. They never asked to be born…….
You question yourself….why should your child suffer……what has he / she done to deserve such a life because believe me, however hard one tries, the quality of life of these children is nothing but poor. So, at least don’t try to romanticise the situation……..because you will never be able to understand unless God forbid, you are in a similar situation.
Yes, we smile, we socialise, we try to be “normal” …..life doesn’t stop……..but we notice and we feel….far too many things……I stop and I think, perhaps if my child were not like this, I would be like all the others. So, what everybody is doing is perfectly normal except when they say they understand……..